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When Bette met her husband, he was leaning in opposition to a wall at a celebration. He had, as she put it, “smoldering seems and banked fires.” He was from Brooklyn; she was from the Bronx. She assumed his silent “bad boy” vibe meant “harmful love and dramatic heartbreak.”

They acquired married, and he or she realized that she’d misinterpret his quiet demeanor: “His eyes had been merely stunning, and his silence wasn’t fierce; he simply didn’t have something to say in the meanwhile.”

After 56 years collectively, Bette’s husband handed away on the eve of the pandemic. Bette, now alone, shares what had stored them collectively all these years, and what their lengthy love means to her now.

Bette is a author residing in Woodstock, N.Y. In her interview with Miya, a co-host of the Trendy Love podcast, she displays on how her life has modified since her husband died. One of many startling variations is the necessity to decide up new expertise, equivalent to utilizing a screwdriver and pumping gasoline for the primary time.

In her ebook “Leaving Barney,” revealed in 1988, Bette wrote a few girl who loses her husband after 35 years and immediately has to handle life alone. Under is an excerpt that’s just like Bette’s descriptions of her personal life now:

What are you able to not do, in actuality, by yourself? Pay payments? Determine issues out? Discover issues? Screw? Change fuses? Mild a pilot gentle? Prepare dinner? Eat? Take heed to the information? Chuckle at one thing? Have a thought? Drive lengthy distances at evening?

In her ruminations, Bette involves the conclusion: “Who will deal with you if you happen to get sick? Whoever did deal with you however you?”

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Hosted by: Daniel Jones and Miya Lee
Produced by: Hans Buetow and Kelly Prime
Edited by: Sara Sarasohn and Wendy Dorr
Music by: Dan Powell
Seeing Her in Me,” written and skim by: Alicia Gabe
Widow Walks Into Wall, Finds Hope,” Audm narration by: Suzanne Toren and produced by Ryan Wegner and Kelly Rogers
Govt Producer, NYT Audio: Lisa Tobin
Assistant Managing Editor, NYT: Sam Dolnick

Particular thanks: Nora Keller, Mahima Chablani, Julia Simon, Laura Kim, Bonnie Wertheim, Anya Strzemien, Joanna Nikas and Choire Sicha.

Need extra from Trendy Love? Watch the TV collection and join the publication. We even have swag at the NYT Retailer and two books, “Trendy Love: True Tales of Love, Loss, and Redemption” and “Tiny Love Tales: True Tales of Love in 100 Phrases or Much less” (forthcoming).

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